Desert Run
by LegameInfinito
Summary: They'd always gotten frequent unwelcome visitors. They wondered why it suddenly stopped, but couldn't bring themselves to care. The devestation was just too great, for him especially. Jas/Bel LEMONS!


**So I was just sitting there for a moment, going through my email and yada-yada, when this idea came to me. I realized that I already had a Twilight Bella/Jasper story out there, but I couldn't resist the temptation of this plot, so I'm putting it up and hoping you guys can tell me what you think of it! I'm really excited to hear what you have to say! :D**

**I own nothing and will tell you if I magically obtain the rights to Twilight! :L**

I continued to wander through the woods, inspecting each and every detail the trees and foliage had to offer me to try and distract myself from the rampage swirling through me. Despair crept up my insides, loneliness crushed my heart, and pain engulfed my being, leaving me stunned. Thoughts were swirling in the back of my mind too fast and hysterical for me to focus on any one of them. I tried to calm my heavy breathing or quell my tears, but my body had a mind of its own as it kept me going forward, heaving and coughing as rain began to seep through the cover of the trees. It grew darker and darker, and I was acutely aware of how long I'd been walking by the ache in my legs, but I couldn't bring myself to stop on my quest to follow him. If I didn't find him, my life was over.

After a long while, my knees began to shake, but I continued, undeterred, reliving that moment and contemplating just how beautiful his face could be, no matter how horrifying the intentions behind it. Before I quite realized just how tired I was, my knees gave under my weight and I toppled to the ground in an undignified heap. I continued to cry, sucking in muddy water and choking on it before I turned to stare up at the sky.

My eyes burned as cool rain and dirt fell into them, but I kept them open and focused solely on the superficial pain, trying to forget about the worse things rolling around inside me. The attempt was weak and in vain, and I slowly forgot about the cold and the exhaustion as I drifted backward. I floated past those moments in the woods, back to before my birthday when everything was right. I remembered every detail of the last summer, when life had been perfect. I'd had my true love by my side, my perfect family, and my forever just sitting there on a golden platter. No matter what happened, everything would be okay. I knew that I could tackle any problem because I had forever to do it.

And now, as all that was stripped from me, I felt so old. It was almost a sure thing that I was going to die within a few days, and I realized with intense pain that I would. My lifespan was mere days to them. My looks and my talents were nothing to them. _I _was nothing to them. The thoughts hurt, and all of my insides seemed to be imploding, and I fought back to the summer.

I thought of every visit to the meadow with Edward, I thought of every dreaded shopping trip with Alice, I thought of every cooking experience with Esme, I thought of every joke with Emmett, I thought of every conversation with Carlisle, I thought of every smile I shared with Jasper, and I even thought about every icy glare from Rosalie. I continued to ache, but I couldn't help myself from smiling. It hadn't been totally perfect, but I knew that it could have been. I knew that it would be.

But that was gone, and the thought of that sent me on another fit of crying. All of my plans and decisions and goals were just _gone_. I felt so empty, so worthless. I'd had a future, and then I had it taken from me. Now what was left? Who was I without the Cullens?

It was a scary question to ask, and I decided to not think about it. I knew that I didn't exist without them, that I couldn't live without them—that I'd rather go without air than without my second family. I'd do anything to get them back, anything to make them happy.

And that was when I really took the situation into account. Had I ever really made them happy? They'd risked their lives for me, risked exposure for me, and all for what? A human? A plain human that was nothing compared to them? I was no better than the fly on the wall, and yet I'd had them going to great lengths for me. That must have been why they left—when they realized they would have to fight their own family just for me, the clumsy pest around the corner, they knew they had to drop me. I may have been interesting at one point, but _blood is thicker than water_.

The thought seemed strangely backwards as I really contemplated it. They were a family in every way _except_ blood. They did all they could to _resist_ blood. And here I was, applying the statement to them. I almost wanted to laugh, but I wasn't sure if my lungs still functioned well enough.

But as I went back to my original train of thought, I managed a meager smile. Maybe I could stop the pain, if only slightly, by thinking about how leaving me must have made them happy. I was a nuisance and nothing more, something to be rid of, and the knowledge that that weight was off their shoulders made me feel slightly better. I could live with this desolation if I knew they benefited. I loved them too much to annoy them for my own happiness. After all, what was I, compared to them?

Sprawled on the muddy ground, soaked with rain, with no idea where I was, I began to feel my mind get fuzzy. This was where I belonged. They deserved the best, and if they needed to leave me here, broken on the forest floor to do it, then so be it. I could take this. If I went to hell so they could go to heaven, then I'd learn to like fire.

So pain wouldn't be so bad. I would take pain with a smile if it meant they were safe and happy. Any day. Any day…

I wasn't quite sure what was going on, but there was suddenly a sharp pain in my scalp and neck, and I was sure I heard something crack. I saw a fiery red and tried to think around the pain and grogginess to realize just what was happening to me. There was suddenly an icy sensation in my neck, and that was quickly followed by a trickle of heat. I panicked as the heat began to grow and intensify, snaking down toward my heart before spreading in different ways. I jerked as a wave of pain came over me, but I was held down by the head, my scalp still stinging.

There was a sweet lull near my ear, and I focused on the cool breeze it briefly provided. I tried to decipher the words I was sure I'd heard, but the fire roared and it took me longer than it should have.

"Live with it."

I felt impact and a loud crack, and more pain shot through my limbs and down my back. I clenched my fists and screamed with the force of it, but slowly broke off into a gargle as my chest ached for air I didn't seem to be getting. I tried to claw behind me, hoping to gain leverage, but only found something sharp and jagged. I weakly traced the rough thing behind me, following it to another segment that was resting heavily atop me, not allowing me to suck the air into my lungs. I felt the fire rage through me, burning brighter despite the lack of oxygen I was getting. I was sure I was melting from the inside out, and that soon nothing would be left of me to speak of. I could only hope for that moment.

I continued to scrape uselessly at the object on top of me, willing my eyes to open in hopes of examining my situation. I just couldn't seem to gather the strength, and it seemed to be hours before I gave up on trying to breathe or move. Everything ached and throbbed and burned and God knows what else. If it was possible for something to hurt, it did, and I tried my best to scream or cry, but found that I could do neither.

Finally, I was simply unable to move, paralyzed as the fire roared higher and hotter, molten lava scraping through my insides and killing everything in its path. I tried to distract myself, to think around it, but before I could get too far, it would rise and I would be consumed by it once again.

The cycle was ceaseless. The fire would rise and rise to levels I'd thought previously impossible, burning me in the worst torture imaginable. Then it would begin to die, falling into a slower, cooler pace, allowing me to hope that it was finally ending. And then, too sudden for me to comprehend, the fire would be burning hotter than ever, leaving me unable to think of anything but the endless pain and burning.

I slowly began to realize, though, that the pain was receding. It was as if the fire was pulling back from my fingertips and toes, piling up as it slowly pushed backward. It grew in intensity as it freed my hands, leaving them oddly numb. If anything, though, the relief I felt in those areas was drowned out as I realized just how hot the burning was. Before, when it had been all over my body, I hadn't had anything to compare it to. But now the extreme contrast between my strangely comfortable hands and feet and my imploding body seemed to magnify the intensity.

Slowly, I felt the fire continue to creep inwards. My heart was speeding faster than ever as the crown of my head and my forearms were released, followed by my calves. Nanometer by detectable nanometer, the fire was beginning to leave my body.

But that wasn't right. The fire was merely being transferred. It had run out of fuel on my outer regions and slowly moved inward, growing hotter and hotter by the second as I felt my insides char and burn. I tried to scream again, but the weight was still there, and I couldn't quite gather enough air. I resorted to fisting my hands in the ground, feeling it give beneath me. Something about the sensation was odd, but I was brought back to the pain before I could really think about it.

The fire was strong now, burning hotter than the sun in the very pit of my heart, killing anything that might have been left there. Thinking of my heart, I brought up all the memories dear to it, like my last summer before this, like my mom, and like my life. It had never been spectacular, but as I became acutely aware that it was ending and that soon enough, I would be dead, I found that it wasn't as bad as I'd thought. I tried to run through everything, tried to commit it to memory and take it with me to wherever I would go next. I would treasure what I had been given here.

Soon the memories faded as my heart began to pound faster than the world spun, making one continuous thrumming noise as it beat back and forth wildly in an attempt to stop the pain. But it only flared higher and higher, spreading over all of me for a moment. I pushed myself upwards, the light weight on top of me falling away, and clawed at the soft ground beneath me, hoping to stop the pain somehow.

And then it stopped. The whole world seemed to pause for a single moment.

I breathed in, and everything started up again. But what I got was not what I expected.


End file.
